Necessity of Vulnerability and Humility in Friendship

Love cannot be had apart from humbling yourself to the point of vulnerability.  This is seen and exampled most aptly in Christ, who humbled Himself to the form of man and deigned to a death of utter humiliation in obedience to His Father's will.  All versions of human love are but shadowy analogies of the great love shown for us in Christ.

In the case of a mother and her child, this vulnerability occurs most naturally at birth and rearing when the child is cared for because of his inability and the mother likewise reveals her vulnerability in the wringing of hands and the potentially explosive responses to tantrums and the like.  Thus the son is made humble and vulnerable by his nature while the mother is rendered vulnerable by that same virtue.

Or think of lovers who, in the throes of intimacy and ecstasy, are stripped of all pretense and barrier, the utter nakedness exposing them to the deepest of humility and vulnerability, the very bedrock of love.  Is it, then, any wonder that physical affection of this is the seal and consummation of the marriage covenant?

It is because of the necessity of humility and vulnerability to love that true friendship becomes such an unusual prospect, particularly in an age wrapped in self-esteem and arms-length closeness that favors strength to vulnerability and dignity to humiliation.  But as friendship cannot be had without love and love cannot be had without a great measure of humbleness and vulnerability, it would be wise to reclaim these aspects of love so as to renew a vibrancy of friendship as well.

I can speak from a certain amount of personal experience in this arena, having found it to be true on multiple occasions that intimacy in friendship is in direct proportion to my willingness and commitment to humility and vulnerability.  Because of this, confirmed by reason and Scripture, we should relish the opportunities draw closer in love and friendship.  And praise be to God who has given us His love so that we may love!

Intimacy with God

Intimacy is a strange and vulnerable ordeal.  It refers to the utter stripping of pretense and posture for the purpose of drawing close to another.  It is truly a relational ideal that requires intentionality and trust.  Moreover, intimacy is the wholesale closeness of love.  When we consider intimacy with God, we are talking about supreme intimacy, the true intimacy referent that all other forms of intimacy are but a shadow of.

Essentially, intimacy is knowledge, the innermost vulnerable, unabashed, and true knowledge of another.  If we understand intimacy in these terms, then, the case for intimacy with God becomes clear.  For starters, He created us.  When He knitted us together in our mother's wombs, He knew us (Psa. 139:13; Jer. 1:5).  Even at the beginning of us, God knew us more intimately than anyone ever would or could.

Additionally, God is sovereign in His infinitely perfect knowledge.  He even knows the very number of hairs on our head (Matt. 10:30).  This is intimacy in its supreme form. Understanding that intimacy is knowing the deepest and most sacred inner parts of another should guide the "pursuit of intimacy" with God.  Thus pursuing intimacy with God, means learning who He is.

At the onset, because God knows everything, the first step for an intimate relationship with God is worship, honoring Him for who He is.  When we recognize that God holds all things in His hand (including the minutiae of us) we should give Him praise.  In a way, it is by praise through faith in Christ that we activate the Holy Spirit working within us, thus growing more intimate with Him.

Intimacy is something to be cherished for the treasure.  This is why the marriage bed to so sacred and to be, above all, protected.  Similarly, our intimacy with God is to be pursued and valued for the pleasure and worth that being intimate with the Holy Lord is.  In truth, intimacy is about the quiet, secret relationship between God and man that takes place in the depths of our hearts.  Although as Christians we are told to spread and to share this love, this does not mean that we should negate or trample the ultimate intimacy of relationship with Christ Jesus.  Praise God that He would desire intimacy with us!