Protecting the Gift of Friendship

There is perhaps no greater joy than the true pleasure of love.  I do not mean only love of the romantic variety, but the love between friends, the love between people that have been allowed to see the deep parts of one another.  This is one of the truly beautiful gifts that God has given us.  But despite this truth, our sin natures continually act as a toxin, degrading our relationships and spoiling the great joy of love.

This is why it is so vital that we seek God in faith, that we would give every bit of ourselves–even our relationships–to God so that He would consecrate and sanctify us fully.  It is only in giving ourselves to God that He is free to transform us from the inside out.  This is the only way to truly protect and cherish the love in our lives.  Let us then commit to seek after God without end so as to be made able to love with reckless abandon and utter trust!

Romans 12:15–Rejoice with Rejoicers

Romans 12:15: "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep."

There is a sort of unwritten ethic between loved ones, the code of reflection.  Entailed within this code is the understanding that when someone is down, you get down with them, and when they are up you be up in reflection.  This code is confirmed within Scripture, that we would reflect the emotional state of all those we care about.  It is not merely a matter of respect but it is a matter of love; that we would step into the mire in love as easily as we would step up to the to the heights of happiness.  But it does not simply stop there.  The goal of this is fellowship, love, and joy.  In the end, this is the true nature of love, that we would be willing to be honest both to our friends and, by extension, to our friends.  Let us then love in this way so as to truly love as God would have us love!

Proverbs and Friendship

Friends are like mirrors.  In many ways, they can reveal to us who we are and show the type of person we may be, either wise or foolish, disciplined or sluggard.  Much of Scripture is concerned with friendship, perhaps nowhere more acutely as in the book of Proverbs.  Here are three particularly direct verses in regards to friendship for your consideration.

Proverbs 13:20: "He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm."

Proverbs 27:6: "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses."

Proverbs 27:17: "As iron sharpens iron so does one man sharpen another."

These verse paint a definite mural expressing the intent of friendship, the value of friendship, and the importance of making wise friends.  Friendship should not ever be undervalued and it should be cherished for all that it is worth for a true friend is like salve for the wounded soul and joy to the heavy heart.  Let us then praise God for the joy and pleasure of friendship!

Necessity of Vulnerability and Humility in Friendship

Love cannot be had apart from humbling yourself to the point of vulnerability.  This is seen and exampled most aptly in Christ, who humbled Himself to the form of man and deigned to a death of utter humiliation in obedience to His Father's will.  All versions of human love are but shadowy analogies of the great love shown for us in Christ.

In the case of a mother and her child, this vulnerability occurs most naturally at birth and rearing when the child is cared for because of his inability and the mother likewise reveals her vulnerability in the wringing of hands and the potentially explosive responses to tantrums and the like.  Thus the son is made humble and vulnerable by his nature while the mother is rendered vulnerable by that same virtue.

Or think of lovers who, in the throes of intimacy and ecstasy, are stripped of all pretense and barrier, the utter nakedness exposing them to the deepest of humility and vulnerability, the very bedrock of love.  Is it, then, any wonder that physical affection of this is the seal and consummation of the marriage covenant?

It is because of the necessity of humility and vulnerability to love that true friendship becomes such an unusual prospect, particularly in an age wrapped in self-esteem and arms-length closeness that favors strength to vulnerability and dignity to humiliation.  But as friendship cannot be had without love and love cannot be had without a great measure of humbleness and vulnerability, it would be wise to reclaim these aspects of love so as to renew a vibrancy of friendship as well.

I can speak from a certain amount of personal experience in this arena, having found it to be true on multiple occasions that intimacy in friendship is in direct proportion to my willingness and commitment to humility and vulnerability.  Because of this, confirmed by reason and Scripture, we should relish the opportunities draw closer in love and friendship.  And praise be to God who has given us His love so that we may love!

Love like Forrest

Arguably one of the greatest films of all time is also one of the most profound, Forrest Gump.  The film chronicles the multi-faceted, history-laden life of a southern man, Forrest Gump, from his childhood through his adulthood.  The essence of the movie, told through Forrest's episodic adventures, is a tale about a character who didn't know anything but being a good guy, despite his mental handicap.

One such episode that expresses Forrest's character is one of the most heart-wrenching scenes in the whole movie, and it deals with friendship.  Forrest, a star college athlete, became a soldier after graduation and was thrust forth into the depths of the Vietnam war.  En route to training camp, Forrest met Bubba.  Bubba would become Forrest's best friend and trusted confidant.

Forrest's platoon was trudging through the thick of the Vietnamese  jungle, when the unit came under heavy enemy fire.  The squad was outnumbered and ambushed with nothing to do but retreat.  Forrest, being an all-star athlete, outran his entire platoon until he had escaped to the edge of the jungle.  Realizing himself to be alone without Bubba, Forrest turned back towards the action and ran into the abyss in search of his friend.

Although Forrest was unable to locate Bubba, he was able to save several other members of his platoon, even his commanding officer.  Eventually, after multiple trips into the jungle to find his friend, Forrest found Bubba and was able to harrowing pull his heavily wounded body from the jungle, all the while being wounded himself in the process.  Forrest was awarded the Purple Heart for his harrowing bravery, though despite his best effort, Bubba did not make it.

Forrest was under the heaviest of enemy attacks, yet he was unrelenting in his efforts to save his friend.  He sprinted through the jungle, dodged the enemy bullets, and did all he could to find and to pull his friend to safety.  This is such a great story of what friendship should look like.  As Jesus says, "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13)."

Fortunately, most of us are not in war zones; however, we still need to lay down our lives for our friends as Jesus commands.  How this plays itself out practically is that we will not relent in our fervent love for one another, whether that means buying someone a tank of gas or helping someone move.  Additionally, we should never stop running back into the spiritual warzone of this world to preach the Gospel and save those whom we care about.  Let us then run like Forrest to save our loved ones, no matter how many times we have to go or how dangerous the circumstances are.

Remember:
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity (Pro. 17:17)."

The Necessity of Friends

Life is a constant challenge and can be an overwhelming adventure more akin to rowing a sinking boat than living a life.  But, like pushing a stalled truck up a hill, it can be manageable with the help of another person.  The other people who can continually help us in the labors of life are our friends and friendship is a powerful key to successful Christian living.  And, like much of life, friendship is an ordeal that should not be undertaken without intentionality and focus.

Naturally, there are two parts of friendship, offering friendship and receiving friendship.  Both parts are important and necessary in friendship.  At the onset, honesty and availability form the basis of quality friendship but the different expressions of friendship, offering or receiving, contain differences.  Understanding the various aspects of offering and receiving friendship is a fruitful endeavor in becoming good and effective friends.  Due to scope of this discussion, the elements that pertain to offering friendship will be examined.

Offering friendship requires care and the willingness to be direct.  Care is necessary during hardship.  As Solomon writes, "A friend loves at all times, but a brother is born for adversity (Pro. 17:17)," and continued, "If a friend falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up (Ecc. 4:9b-10)!"  Truly, it is in hardship that friends are weighed for their worth and in trials that true friends are found.

Additionally, being a friend requires a readiness to call the other person out.  We, as friends, have a responsibility to keep each other on the path by being direct in challenging one another when we may be straying.  Solomon writes about this too, "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses (Pro. 17:6)" and again, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another (Pro. 27:16)."  This should not be overlooked or neglected for the fear of uncomfortability.

The value of friends is that they will have the merit in our lives to challenge us to live more for God.  We each have blindspots that can hinder our sanctification and fruit-bearing growth.  Because of this reality, we have a responsible obligation to help one another, with love and gentleness, to see the blindspots in order to grow more in Christ.  Let us strive to offer good and sincere friendship of care and of challenge as Christ works in us to work in our friends!