I may have said this before but it's becoming more and more clear: I do not sleep well. I average between 4 and 6 hours a day. But every once and a while, less than once a week, however, I get the luxury of a good 8 hours. It is a sweet release, a glorious loosing that occurs when I can actually sleep throughout the night and wake up refreshed, energized, and capable.
I spend most nights, though, laying in bed spinning around every conceivable thought until I finally fall asleep. I pass the time by making the bed, bugging my sleeping wife, and going to the bathroom even though I don't have to go. Lately my sleep system has been so strung out that I have that '2:30 feeling' by about 8 in the morning. It's more like slogging through sludge than gliding on ice, as if every step was a labor through mud. I am 29 years old. Far too young to feel like this, right?
It is at these times, times like today when I feel like a mouth trying to speak while chewing peanut butter, that I am reminded of two fundamentals. First, I remember that God is sovereign and good, always. This fact alone keeps me sane and propels me onward while easing the path I'm on as well. Recognizing the goodness and glory of God makes me feel like a cheetah on roller skates that's just found a large hill.
The other fundamental that comes to mind is this. I remember that sin has so damaged creation and that this sort of tire and ache is one of the consequences (see Gen 3). But, and this is a big one, this was not the way God intended the human condition to be (see Gen 2). And that through Christ Jesus I have a great hope in the promises of God to be fulfilled in the last days. Praise God! That's all the knowledge I need to make it through another sleepless night and another dog-tired day!
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