A Note About Honesty

Let me start with this: for the past few weeks I have had more than a couple very real conversations with people who are very important to me.  During these discussions, the necessity for honesty has come to the forefront of my life and I wanted to take a paragraph or two to discuss the whole concept of honesty and its importance in our relationships.

Honesty requires, at the very least, vulnerability and trust.  To be vulnerable means that we would be willing to let down our guards for the purpose of exposing our weaknesses to others.  But within that vulnerability, we share it with trust.  While vulnerability can in itself be a frightening proposition, it is the need for trust that makes honesty so challenging.  Yet it is these very things, trust and vulnerability, that make honesty so valuable to relationships and it is why we must strive for it in our lives.  In reality, honesty is the foundation of love.

Let us then strive for honesty as we strive in devotion to the Lord!

Honest Humility

Humility, the state of being humble, is a necessary posture of living that Christians should continually realign themselves with throughout their lives.  Because humility chafes against the grain of our fleshly lives, we need to establish a practical methodology of humbling ourselves when the pull of pride rears its ugly head. For this, there are some keys to apply in the endeavor for humility.

One key to humility is Recognition.  We need to become so attuned and self-aware that we will be constantly on guard against the pride inside.  If we are to become humble we need to be ready and able to examine the depths of who we are with honesty.  The recognition of pride is one of the fundamental keys to maintaining humility.

Another key is Honesty.  This may seem rather obvious but honesty in this sense needs further definition.  It is not enough to be honest with our faults in the quest for humility, we must also be honest with our strengths.  More often than not it is our strengths, those traits or talents we posses and cherish, that cause pride and arrogance.  Ultimately, our strengths are given us by God and to be used for His glory and purposes.  Unfortunately, we can so overvalue our strengths that our attitude towards our strengths may become the stumbling block to true humility.

The final key to humility is Assessment.  Because humility is to be our ever-present attitude, we need to develop a sure and steady practice of self-assessment.  Employing the other keys of recognition and honesty, consistent assessment equips us to see areas in which we may be less than humble.  This valuable bit of information is necessary for us to meet pridefulness with correction and realign ourselves with humility.

Through recognition of pride, honesty with ourselves, and consistent assessment, we will form an attitude and posture of humility that should guide our lives.  The importance of humility cannot be overemphasized.  Scripture speaks often about the value and necessity of humility (for a start: Pro. 15:33; Rom. 12:3; Eph. 2:8-9; James 4:6).  However, Jesus' statement seems the most direct and applicable: "whoever exalts himself shall be humbled, whoever humbles himself shall be exalted (Matt.  23:12)."  Therefore, let us strive for humility in Him and for Him!

Overcoming the False Identity for the True One

Identity refers to who we are, but it is more complex than just a matter of being.  In reality, identity is a two-fold concept encompassing both who we claim to be and who we actually are.  This might seem trivial but there is significance in determining both parts of our identity in hopes that we could align the two parts into one coalesced true self.  

At the onset, it must be stated that the only true identity is found in Christ.  Any identity that attempts to amputate the self from God is ultimately inauthentic and untrue.  God is a God of truth.  More astutely, God is the sole source of true truth.  Any claim to truth that sits outside of the holy Lord is fractal at best in it trueness, because being not connected to the source of truth, it cannot be wholly true.

In reference to identity, truth is of immense importance.  Who we actually are is to be determined solely in the Lord.  Multiple parts make up who we truly are in Christ.  For starters, we are saved in Jesus, meaning that our sins have been absolved and we have been freed from guilt as well as the penalty of sin, which is death.  Additionally, in Christ, we are planted as trees of righteousness, bearing fruits of the Spirit: kindness, gentleness, goodness, patience, perseverance, et al.  The point is that, in Jesus, our identity is remade into an identity that mirrors Christ, His character and love.

The major hindrance to claiming and walking in our redeemed identity is ourselves.  This part of identity, who we claim to be or who we think we are, often stands in opposition of who we truly are and can be in Christ.  Each of us is an exceptional actor, able to expertly conceal and pretend.  Over time we become so adept at portraying the facade that we start to believe that the charade is reality.  This is a lie of Satan.

The disconnect between our real self, found only in the Lord, and the fake facade self that we naturally project, is wide but not unconquerable.  There is a technique, a method, for handling this divide.  For one, we have to address the facade directly and confront the act head on.  Only when we come to grips with our own forgery, the act that we portray, are we able to live as our true selves in the Lord.  This process requires some direct and intense Spirit-led introspection.  However, once we overcome our false selves can we live out our true self.  Let us then press on to be true with ourselves so as to claim our true identity in the Lord!

Two-Stage Honesty

Honesty is hard.  When real honesty occurs, the tough and difficult is dragged up to the forefront and we are forced to deal with things that we would rather not.  Honesty can also reveal the hidden things that we may not even be aware of.  Honesty basically can be understood in two separate but subsequent and related stages: (1) honesty with others, and (2) honesty with ourselves.

Honesty in regards to others is a necessary and challenging venture.  It requires grace, gentleness, and love.  If honesty with others is lacking in its delivery, the purpose of being honest will be lost.  For instance, if being honest requires to tell a friend or loved one that they are failing in some personal area, and the admonishment is done coldly, with haste, or lacking consideration, then the person may not take the rebuke.

Instead, honesty should be done with intention but kindness.  Honesty needs to be direct.  If it is not direct,  honesty will not be able to obtain its intended effects.  There is power to being honest.  When we are honest with others we are holding up mirrors to them for the purpose of helping them grow.  If we are being honest for our own sake or to be hurtful then we are not being honest, we are just being mean.

As indicated, the purpose of honesty is to propel others to grow closer to God and further in their sanctification.  If our honesty is not achieving this basic goal or is not done with this end in mind, then it is worthless and hurtful.  In contrast, honesty with others, when delivered with a measure of grace, can cause both us and the other person to exercise the second stage of honesty: honesty with self.

Being honest with ourselves is the sine qua non of sanctification.  When we are honest with ourselves, when we look into the mirror with eyes that are illuminated by the Holy Spirit, we are able to see ourselves, warts and all.  This is essential.  If we do not take time to truthfully look at ourselves in the light of the Lord, we will be unable to change or to sanctify because we will not know what needs to be sanctified.

The truth is that honesty is tough.  Both giving it and receiving it require an ear that is willing to hear despite the potential for hurt and pain.  A major element to honesty is love, which for honesty plays itself out in trust.  When we trust those who offer honesty and when they trust us for the same, then we are actually stepping out in faith and living out the love that Christ asks of us.  This is what honesty is all about.